CHAPTER 30

Sonoweverythinghadbeendonethattherewastodothatnight.Allordershadbeengiven.Everyoneknewexactlywhathewastodointhemorning.Andréhadbeengonethreehours.Eitheritwouldcomenowwiththecomingofthedaylightoritwouldnotcome.Ibelievethatitwillcome,RobertJordantoldhimself,walkingbackdownfromtheupperpostwherehehadgonetospeaktoPrimitivo.

Golzmakestheattackbuthehasnotthepowertocancelit.PermissiontocancelitwillhavetocomefromMadrid.Thechancesaretheywon』tbeabletowakeanybodyupthereandiftheydowakeuptheywillbetoosleepytothink.IshouldhavegottenwordtoGolzsoonerofthepreparationstheyhavemadetomeettheattack,buthowcouldIsendwordaboutsomethinguntilithappened?Theydidnotmoveupthatstuffuntiljustatdark.Theydidnotwanttohaveanymovementontheroadspottedbyplanes.Butwhataboutalltheirplanes?Whataboutthosefascistplanes?

Surelyourpeoplemusthavebeenwarnedbythem.ButperhapsthefascistswerefakingforanotheroffensivedownthroughGuadalajarawiththem.ThereweresupposedtobeItaliantroopsconcentratedinSoria,andatSiguenzaagainbesidesthoseoperatingintheNorth.Theyhaven』tenoughtroopsormaterialtoruntwomajoroffensivesatthesametimethough.Thatisimpossible;soitmustbejustabluff.

ButweknowhowmanytroopstheItalianshavelandedalllastmonthandthemonthbeforeatCadiz.ItisalwayspossibletheywilltryagainatGuadalajara,notstupidlyasbefore,butwiththreemainfingerscomingdowntobroadenitoutandcarryitalongtherailwaytothewestoftheplateau.Therewasawaythattheycoulddoitallright.Hanshadshownhim.Theymademanymistakesthefirsttime.Thewholeconceptionwasunsound.TheyhadnotusedanyofthesametroopsintheArgandaoffensiveagainsttheMadrid-ValenciaroadthattheyusedatGuadalajara.Whyhadtheynotmadethosesamedrivessimultaneously?Why?Why?Whenwouldweknowwhy?

Yetwehadstoppedthembothtimeswiththeverysametroops.Wenevercouldhavestoppedthemiftheyhadpulledbothdrivesatonce.Don』tworry,hetoldhimself.Lookatthemiraclesthathavehappenedbeforethis.Eitheryouwillhavetoblowthatbridgeinthemorningoryouwillnothaveto.Butdonotstartdeceivingyourselfintothinkingyouwon』thavetoblowit.Youwillblowitonedayoryouwillblowitanother.Orifitisnotthisbridgeitwillbesomeotherbridge.Itisnotyouwhodecideswhatshallbedone.Youfolloworders.Followthemanddonottrytothinkbeyondthem.

Theordersonthisareveryclear.Tooveryclear.Butyoumustnotworrynormustyoubefrightened.Forifyouallowyourselftheluxuryofnormalfearthatfearwillinfectthosewhomustworkwithyou.

Butthatheadsbusinesswasquiteathingallthesame,hetoldhimself.Andtheoldmanrunningontothemonthehilltopalone.Howwouldyouhavelikedtorunontothemlikethat?Thatimpressedyou,didn』tit?Yes,thatimpressedyou,Jordan.Youhavebeenquiteimpressedmorethanoncetoday.ButyouhavebehavedO.K.Sofaryouhavebehavedallright.

YoudoverywellforaninstructorinSpanishattheUniversityofMontana,hejokedathimself.Youdoallrightforthat.Butdonotstarttothinkingthatyouareanythingveryspecial.Youhaven』tgottenveryfarinthisbusiness.JustrememberDurán,whoneverhadanymilitarytrainingandwhowasacomposerandladabouttownbeforethemovementandisnowadamnedgoodgeneralcommandingabrigade.ItwasallassimpleandeasytolearnandunderstandtoDuránaschesstoachildchessprodigy.YouhadreadonandstudiedtheartofwareversinceyouwereaboyandyourgrandfatherhadstartedyouontheAmericanCivilWar.ExceptthatGrandfatheralwayscalledittheWaroftheRebellion.ButcomparedwithDurányouwerelikeagoodsoundchessplayeragainstaboyprodigy.OldDurán.ItwouldbegoodtoseeDuránagain.HewouldseehimatGaylord』safterthiswasover.Yes.Afterthiswasover.Seehowwellhewasbehaving?

I』llseehimatGaylord』s,hesaidtohimselfagain,afterthisisover.Don』tkidyourself,hesaid.YoudoitallperfectlyO.K.Cold.Withoutkiddingyourself.Youaren』tgoingtoseeDuránanymoreanditisofnoimportance.Don』tbethatwayeither,hetoldhimself.Don』tgoinforanyofthoseluxuries.

Norforheroicresignationeither.Wedonotwantanycitizensfullofheroicresignationinthesehills.YourgrandfatherfoughtfouryearsinourCivilWarandyouarejustfinishingyourfirstyearinthiswar.Youhavealongtimetogoyetandyouareverywellfittedforthework.AndnowyouhaveMaria,too.Why,you』vegoteverything.Youshouldn』tworry.Whatisalittlebrushbetweenaguerillabandandasquadronofcavalry?Thatisn』tanything.Whatiftheytooktheheads?Doesthatmakeanydifference?Noneatall.

TheIndiansalwaystookthescalpswhenGrandfatherwasatFortKearnyafterthewar.Doyourememberthecabinetinyourfather』sofficewiththearrowheadsspreadoutonashelf,andtheeaglefeathersofthewarbonnetsthathungonthewall,theirplumesslanting,thesmokedbuckskinsmelloftheleggingsandtheshirtsandthefeelofthebeadedmoccasins?Doyourememberthegreatstaveofthebuffalobowthatleanedinacornerofthecabinetandthetwoquiversofhuntingandwararrows,andhowthebundleofshaftsfeltwhenyouclosedyourhandaroundthem?

Remembersomethinglikethat.Remembersomethingconcreteandpractical.RememberGrandfather』ssaber,brightandwelloiledinitsdentedscabbardandGrandfathershowedyouhowthebladehadbeenthinnedfromthemanytimesithadbeentothegrinder』s.RememberGrandfather』sSmithandWesson.Itwasasingleaction,officer』smodel.32caliberandtherewasnotriggerguard.Ithadthesoftest,sweetesttriggerpullyouhadeverfeltanditwasalwayswelloiledandtheborewascleanalthoughthefinishwasallwornoffandthebrownmetalofthebarrelandthecylinderwaswornsmoothfromtheleatheroftheholster.ItwaskeptintheholsterwithaU.S.ontheflapinadrawerinthecabinetwithitscleaningequipmentandtwohundredroundsofcartridges.Theircardboardboxeswerewrappedandtiedneatlywithwaxedtwine.

Youcouldtakethepistoloutofthedrawerandholdit.「Handleitfreely,」wasGrandfather』sexpression.Butyoucouldnotplaywithitbecauseitwas「aseriousweapon.」

YouaskedGrandfatheronceifhehadeverkilledanyonewithitandhesaid,「Yes.」

Thenyousaid,「When,Grandfather?」andhesaid,「IntheWaroftheRebellionandafterwards.」

Yousaid,「Willyoutellmeaboutit,Grandfather?」

Andhesaid,「Idonotcaretospeakaboutit,Robert.」

Thenafteryourfatherhadshothimselfwiththispistol,andyouhadcomehomefromschoolandthey』dhadthefuneral,thecoronerhadreturneditaftertheinquestsaying,「Bob,Iguessyoumightwanttokeepthegun.I』msupposedtoholdit,butIknowyourdadsetalotofstorebyitbecausehisdadpackeditallthroughtheWar,besidesoutherewhenhefirstcameoutwiththeCavalry,andit』sstillahellofagoodgun.Ihadherouttryingherthisafternoon.Shedon』tthrowmuchofaslugbutyoucanhitthingswithher.」

Hehadputthegunbackinthedrawerinthecabinetwhereitbelonged,butthenextdayhetookitoutandhehadriddenuptothetopofthehighcountryaboveRedLodge,withChub,wheretheyhadbuilttheroadtoCookeCitynowoverthepassandacrosstheBearToothplateau,anduptherewherethewindwasthinandtherewassnowallsummeronthehillstheyhadstoppedbythelakewhichwassupposedtobeeighthundredfeetdeepandwasadeepgreencolor,andChubheldthetwohorsesandheclimbedoutonarockandleanedoverandsawhisfaceinthestillwater,andsawhimselfholdingthegun,andthenhedroppedit,holdingitbythemuzzle,andsawitgodownmakingbubblesuntilitwasjustasbigasawatchcharminthatclearwater,andthenitwasoutofsight.ThenhecamebackofftherockandwhenheswungupintothesaddlehegaveoldBesssuchacloutwiththespursshestartedtobucklikeanoldrockinghorse.HebuckedheroutalongtheshoreQfthelakeandassoonasshewasreasonabletheywentonbackalongthetrail.

「Iknowwhyyoudidthatwiththeoldgun,Bob,」Chubsaid.

「Well,thenwedon』thavetotalkaboutit,」hehadsaid.

TheynevertalkedaboutitandthatwastheendofGrandfather』ssidearmsexceptforthesaber.HestillhadthesaberinhistrunkwiththerestofhisthingsatMissoula.

IwonderwhatGrandfatherwouldthinkofthissituation,hethought.Grandfatherwasahellofagoodsoldier,everybodysaid.TheysaidifhehadbeenwithCusterthatdayheneverwouldhavelethimbesuckedinthatway.HowcouldheevernothaveseenthesmokenorthedustofallthoselodgesdownthereinthedrawalongtheLittleBigHornunlesstheremusthavebeenaheavymorningmist?Buttherewasn』tanymist.

IwishGrandfatherwerehereinsteadofme.Well,maybewewillallbetogetherbytomorrownight.Ifthereshouldbeanysuchdamnfoolbusinessasahereafter,andI』msurethereisn』t,hethought,Iwouldcertainlyliketotalktohim.BecausetherearealotofthingsIwouldliketoknow.IhavearighttoaskhimnowbecauseIhavehadtodothesamesortofthingsmyself.Idon』tthinkhe』dmindmyaskingnow.Ihadnorighttoaskbefore.Iunderstandhimnottellingmebecausehedidn』tknowme.ButnowIthinkthatwewouldgetalongallright.I』dliketobeabletotalktohimnowandgethisadvice.Hell,ifIdidn』tgetadviceI』djustliketotalktohim.It』sashamethereissuchajumpintimebetweenoneslikeus.

Then,ashethought,herealizedthatiftherewasanysuchthingasevermeeting,bothheandhisgrandfatherwouldbeacutelyembarrassedbythepresenceofhisfather.Anyonehasarighttodoit,hethought.Butitisn』tagoodthingtodo.Iunderstandit,butIdonotapproveofit.Lachewastheword.Butyoudounderstandit?Sure,Iunderstanditbut.Yes,but.Youhavetobeawfullyoccupiedwithyourselftodoathinglikethat.

Awhell,IwishGrandfatherwashere,hethought.Foraboutanhouranyway.MaybehesentmewhatlittleIhavethroughthatotheronethatmisusedthegun.Maybethatistheonlycommunicationthatwehave.But,damnit.Trulydamnit,butIwishthetime-lagwasn』tsolongsothatIcouldhavelearnedfromhimwhattheotheroneneverhadtoteachme.ButsupposethefearhehadtogothroughanddominateandjustgetridoffinallyinfouryearsofthatandthenintheIndianfighting,althoughinthat,mostly,therecouldn』thavebeensomuchfear,hadmadeacobardeoutoftheotheronethewaysecondgenerationbullfightersalmostalwaysare?Supposethat?Andmaybethegoodjuiceonlycamethroughstraightagainafterpassingthroughthatone?

I』llneverforgethowsickitmademethefirsttimeIknewhewasacobarde.Goon,sayitinEnglish.Coward.It』seasierwhenyouhaveitsaidandthereisneveranypointinreferringtoasonofabitchbysomeforeignterm.Hewasn』tanysonofabitch,though.Hewasjustacowardandthatwastheworstluckanymancouldhave.Becauseifhewasn』tacowardhewouldhavestooduptothatwomanandnotletherbullyhim.IwonderwhatIwouldhavebeenlikeifhehadmarriedadifferentwoman?That』ssomethingyou』llneverknow,hethought,andgrinned.Maybethebullyinherhelpedtosupplywhatwasmissingintheother.Andyou.Takeitalittleeasy.Don』tgettoreferringtothegoodjuiceandsuchotherthingsuntilyouarethroughtomorrow.Don』tbesnottytoosoon.Andthendon』tbesnottyatall.We』llseewhatsortofjuiceyouhavetomorrow.

ButhestartedthinkingaboutGrandfatheragain.

「GeorgeCusterwasnotanintelligentleaderofcavalry,Robert,」hisgrandfatherhadsaid.「Hewasnotevenanintelligentman.」

Herememberedthatwhenhisgrandfathersaidthathefeltresentmentthatanyoneshouldspeakagainstthatfigureinthebuckskinshirt,theyellowcurlsblowing,thatstoodonthathillholdingaservicerevolverastheSiouxclosedinaroundhimintheoldAnheuser-BuschlithographthathungonthepoolroomwallinRedLodge.

「Hejusthadgreatabilitytogethimselfinandoutoftrouble,」hisgrandfatherwenton,「andontheLittleBigHornhegotintoitbuthecouldn』tgetout.

「NowPhilSheridanwasanintelligentmanandsowasJebStuart.ButJohnMosbywasthefinestcavalryleaderthateverlived.」

HehadaletterinhisthingsinthetrunkatMissoulafromGeneralPhilSheridantooldKilly-the-HorseKilpatrickthatsaidhisgrandfatherwasafinerleaderofirregularcavalrythanJohnMosby.

IoughttotellGolzaboutmygrandfather,hethought.Hewouldn』teverhaveheardofhimthough.HeprobablyneverevenheardofJohnMosby.TheBritishallhadheardofthemthoughbecausetheyhadtostudyourCivilWarmuchmorethanpeopledidontheContinent.KarkovsaidafterthiswasoverIcouldgototheLeninInstituteinMoscowifIwantedto.HesaidIcouldgotothemilitaryacademyoftheRedArmyifIwantedtodothat.IwonderwhatGrandfatherwouldthinkofthat?Grandfather,whoneverknowinglysatattablewithaDemocratinhislife.

Well,Idon』twanttobeasoldier,hethought.Iknowthat.Sothat』sout.Ijustwantustowinthiswar.Iguessreallygoodsoldiersarereallygoodatverylittleelse,hethought.That』sobviouslyuntrue.LookatNapoleonandWellington.You』reverystupidthisevening,hethought.

Usuallyhismindwasverygoodcompanyandtonightithadbeenwhenhethoughtabouthisgrandfather.Thenthinkingofhisfatherhadthrownhimoff.Heunderstoodhisfatherandheforgavehimeverythingandhepitiedhimbuthewasashamedofhim.

Youbetternotthinkatall,hetoldhimself.SoonyouwillbewithMariaandyouwon』thavetothink.That』sthebestwaynowthateverythingisworkedout.Whenyouhavebeenconcentratingsohardonsomethingyoucan』tstopandyourbraingetstoracinglikeaflywheelwiththeweightgone.Youbetterjustnotthink.

Butjustsuppose,hethought.Justsupposethatwhentheplanesunloadtheysmashthoseanti-tankgunsandjustblowhelloutofthepositionsandtheoldtanksrollgoodupwhateverhillitisforonceandoldGolzbootsthatbunchofdrunks,clochards,bums,fanaticsandheroesthatmakeuptheQuatorzièmeBrigadeaheadofhim,andIknowhowgoodDurán』speopleareinGolz』sotherbrigade,andweareinSegoviatomorrownight.

Yes.Justsuppose,hesaidtohimself.I』llsettleforLaGranja,hetoldhimself.Butyouaregoingtohavetoblowthatbridge,hesuddenlyknewabsolutely.Therewon』tbeanycallingoff.Becausethewayyouhavejustbeensupposingthereforaminuteishowthepossibilitiesofthatattacklooktothosewhohaveorderedit.Yes,youwillhavetoblowthebridge,heknewtruly.WhateverhappenstoAndrésdoesn』tmatter.

Comingdownthetrailthereinthedark,alonewiththegoodfeelingthateverythingthathadtobedonewasoverforthenextfourhours,andwiththeconfidencethathadcomefromthinkingbacktoconcretethings,theknowledgethathewouldsurelyhavetoblowthebridgecametohimalmostwithcomfort.

Theuncertainty,theenlargementofthefeelingofbeinguncertain,aswhen,throughamisunderstandingofpossibledates,onedoesnotknowwhethertheguestsarereallycomingtoaparty,thathadbeenwithhimeversincehehaddispatchedAndréswiththereporttoGolz,hadalldroppedfromhimnow.Hewassurenowthatthefestivalwouldnotbecancelled.It』smuchbettertobesure,hethought.It』salwaysmuchbettertobesure.