232.英文正文(232)
oneday—but「oneday」wasnottherightexpression;justasprobablyitwasinthemiddleofthenight:once—hefellintoastrange,blissfulreverie。***hewaswalkingdownthecorridor,waitingforthebullet。heknewthatitwascominginanothermoment。everythingwassettled,smoothedout,reconciled。therewerenomoredoubts,nomorearguments,nomorepain,nomorefear。hisbodywashealthyandstrong。hewalkedeasily,withajoyofmovementandwithafeelingofwalkinginsunlight。hewasnotanylongerinthenarrowwhitecorridorsintheministryoflove,hewasintheenormoussunlitpassage,akilometrewide,downwhichhehadseemedtowalkinthedeliriuminducedbydrugs。hewasinthegoldencountry,followingthefoot-trackacrosstheoldrabbit-croppedpasture。hecouldfeeltheshortspringyturfunderhisfeetandthegentlesunshineonhisface。attheedgeofthefieldweretheelmtrees,faintlystirring,andsomewherebeyondthatwasthestreamwherethedacelayinthegreenpoolsunderthewillows。
suddenlyhestartedupwithashockofhorror。thesweatbrokeoutonhisbackbone。hehadheardhimselfcryaloud:
「julia!julia!julia,mylove!julia!」
foramomenthehadhadanoverwhelminghallucinationofherpresence。shehadseemedtobenotmerelywithhim,butinsidehim。itwasasthoughshehadgotintothetextureofhisskin。inthatmomenthehadlovedherfarmorethanhehadeverdonewhentheyweretogetherandfree。alsoheknewthatsomewhereorothershewasstillaliveandneededhishelp。helaybackonthebedandtriedtocomposehimself。whathadhedone?howmanyyearshadheaddedtohisservitudebythatmomentofweakness?