Chapter 38

INELFLANDDISPORTING—THEGRIMWORLDWITHOUT

WhenCarrierenewedhersearch,asshedidthenextday,goingtotheCasino,shefoundthatintheoperachorus,asinotherfields,employmentisdifficulttosecure.Girlswhocanstandinalineandlookprettyareasnumerousaslabourerswhocanswingapick.Shefoundtherewasnodiscriminationbetweenoneandtheotherofapplicants,saveasregardsaconventionalstandardofprettinessandform.Theirownopinionorknowledgeoftheirabilitywentfornothing.

「WhereshallIfindMr.Gray.」sheaskedofasulkydoormanatthestageentranceoftheCasino.

「Youcan』tseehimnow;he』sbusy.」

「DoyouknowwhenIcanseehim.」

「Gotanappointmentwithhim.」

「No.」

「Well,you』llhavetocallathisoffice.」

「Oh,dear!」exclaimedCarrie.「Whereishisoffice.」

Hegaveherthenumber.

Sheknewtherewasnoneedofcallingtherenow.Hewouldnotbein.Nothingremainedbuttoemploytheintermediatehoursinsearch.

Thedismalstoryofventuresinotherplacesisquicklytold.Mr.Dalysawnoonesavebyappointment.Carriewaitedanhourinadingyoffice,quiteinspiteofobstacles,tolearnthisfactoftheplacid,indifferentMr.Dorney.

「Youwillhavetowriteandaskhimtoseeyou.」

Soshewentaway.

AttheEmpireTheatreshefoundahiveofpeculiarlylistlessandindifferentindividuals.Everythingornatelyupholstered,everythingcarefullyfinished,everythingremarkablyreserved.

AttheLyceumsheenteredoneofthosesecluded,under-stairwayclosets,beruggedandbepaneled,whichcausesonetofeelthegreatnessofallpositionsofauthority.Herewasreserveitselfdoneintoabox-officeclerk,adoorman,andanassistant,gloryingintheirfinepositions.

「Ah,beveryhumblenow—veryhumbleindeed.Telluswhatitisyourequire.Tellitquickly,nervously,andwithoutavestigeofself-respect.Ifnotroubletousinanyway,wemayseewhatwecando.」

ThiswastheatmosphereoftheLyceum—theattitude,forthatmatter,ofeverymanagerialofficeinthecity.Theselittleproprietorsofbusinessesarelordsindeedontheirownground.

Carriecameawaywearily,somewhatmoreabashedforherpains.

Hurstwoodheardthedetailsofthewearyandunavailingsearchthatevening.

「Ididn』tgettoseeanyone,」saidCarrie.「Ijustwalked,andwalked,andwaitedaround.」

Hurstwoodonlylookedather.

「Isupposeyouhavetohavesomefriendsbeforeyoucangetin,」sheadded,disconsolately.

Hurstwoodsawthedifficultyofthisthing,andyetitdidnotseemsoterrible.Carriewastiredanddispirited,butnowshecouldrest.Viewingtheworldfromhisrocking-chair,itsbitternessdidnotseemtoapproachsorapidly.To-morrowwasanotherday.

To-morrowcame,andthenext,andthenext.

CarriesawthemanagerattheCasinoonce.

「Comearound,」hesaid,「thefirstofnextweek.Imaymakesomechangesthen.」

Hewasalargeandcorpulentindividual,surfeitedwithgoodclothesandgoodeating,whojudgedwomenasanotherwouldhorseflesh.Carriewasprettyandgraceful.Shemightbeputinevenifshedidnothaveanyexperience.Oneoftheproprietorshadsuggestedthatthechoruswasalittleweakonlooks.

Thefirstofnextweekwassomedaysoffyet.Thefirstofthemonthwasdrawingnear.Carriebegantoworryasshehadneverworriedbefore.

「Doyoureallylookforanythingwhenyougoout.」sheaskedHurstwoodonemorningasaclimaxtosomepainfulthoughtsofherown.

「OfcourseIdo,」hesaidpettishly,troublingonlyalittleoverthedisgraceoftheinsinuation.

「I』dtakeanything,」shesaid,「forthepresent.Itwillsoonbethefirstofthemonthagain.」

Shelookedthepictureofdespair.

Hurstwoodquitreadinghispaperandchangedhisclothes.

「Hewouldlookforsomething,」hethought.「Hewouldgoandseeifsomebrewerycouldn』tgethiminsomewhere.Yes,hewouldtakeapositionasbartender,ifhecouldgetit.」

Itwasthesamesortofpilgrimagehehadmadebefore.Oneortwoslightrebuffs,andthebravadodisappeared.

「Nouse,」hethought.「Imightaswellgoonbackhome.」

Nowthathismoneywassolow,hebegantoobservehisclothesandfeelthatevenhisbestoneswerebeginningtolookcommonplace.Thiswasabitterthought.

Carriecameinafterhedid.

「Iwenttoseesomeofthevarietymanagers,」shesaid,aimlessly.「Youhavetohaveanact.Theydon』twantanybodythathasn』t.」

「Isawsomeofthebrewerypeopleto-day,」saidHurstwood.「Onemantoldmehe』dtrytomakea

placeformeintwoorthreeweeks.」

InthefaceofsomuchdistressonCarrie』spart,hehadtomakesomeshowing,anditwasthushedidso.Itwaslassitude』sapologytoenergy.

MondayCarriewentagaintotheCasino.

「DidItellyoutocomearoundtoday.」saidthemanager,lookingheroverasshestoodbeforehim.

「Yousaidthefirstoftheweek,」saidCarrie,greatlyabashed.

「Everhadanyexperience.」heaskedagain,almostseverely.

Carrieownedtoignorance.

Helookedheroveragainashestirredamongsomepapers.Hewassecretlypleasedwiththispretty,disturbed-lookingyoungwoman.「Comearoundtothetheatreto-morrowmorning.」

Carrie』sheartboundedtoherthroat.

「Iwill,」shesaidwithdifficulty.Shecouldseehewantedher,andturnedtogo.

「Wouldhereallyputhertowork.Oh,blessedfortune,coulditbe.」

Alreadythehardrumbleofthecitythroughtheopenwindowsbecamepleasant.

Asharpvoiceansweredhermentalinterrogation,drivingawayallimmediatefearsonthatscore.

「Besureyou』retherepromptly,」themanagersaidroughly.「You』llbedroppedifyou』renot.」

Carriehastenedaway.ShedidnotquarrelnowwithHurstwood』sidleness.Shehadaplace—shehadaplace!Thissanginherears.

InherdelightshewasalmostanxioustotellHurstwood.But,asshewalkedhomeward,andhersurveyofthefactsofthecasebecamelarger,shebegantothinkoftheanomalyofherfindingworkinseveralweeksandhislounginginidlenessforanumberofmonths.

「Whydon』thegetsomething.」sheopenlysaidtoherself.「IfIcanhesurelyoughtto.Itwasn』tvery

hardforme.」

Sheforgotheryouthandherbeauty.Thehandicapofageshedidnot,inherenthusiasm,perceive.

Thus,ever,thevoiceofsuccess.Still,shecouldnotkeephersecret.Shetriedtobecalmandindifferent,butitwasapalpablesham.

「Well.」hesaid,seeingherrelievedface.

「Ihaveaplace.」

「Youhave.」hesaid,breathingabetterbreath.

「Yes.」

「Whatsortofaplaceisit.」heasked,feelinginhisveinsasifnowhemightgetsomethinggoodalso.

「Inthechorus,」sheanswered.

「IsittheCasinoshowyoutoldmeabout.」

「Yes,」sheanswered.「Ibeginrehearsingto-morrow.」

TherewasmoreexplanationvolunteeredbyCarrie,becauseshewashappy.AtlastHurstwoodsaid:

「Doyouknowhowmuchyou』llget.」

「No,Ididn』twanttoask,」saidCarrie.「Iguesstheypaytwelveorfourteendollarsaweek.」

「Aboutthat,Iguess,」saidHurstwood.

Therewasagooddinnerintheflatthatevening,owingtothemereliftingoftheterriblestrain.Hurstwoodwentoutforashave,andreturnedwithafair-sizedsirloinsteak.

「Now,to-morrow,」hethought,「I』lllookaroundmyself,」andwithrenewedhopeheliftedhiseyesfromtheground.

OnthemorrowCarriereportedpromptlyandwasgivenaplaceintheline.Shesawalarge,empty,shadowyplay-house,stillredolentoftheperfumesandblazonryofthenight,andnotableforitsrich,orientalappearance.Thewonderofitawedanddelightedher.Blessedbeitswondrousreality.Howhardshewouldtrytobeworthyofit.Itwasabovethecommonmass,aboveidleness,abovewant,aboveinsignificance.Peoplecametoitinfineryandcarriagestosee.Itwaseveracenteroflightandmirth.Andhereshewasofit.Oh,ifshecouldonlyremain,howhappywouldbeherdays!

「Whatisyourname.」saidthemanager,whowasconductingthedrill.

「Madenda,」shereplied,instantlymindfulofthenameDrouethadselectedinChicago.「CarrieMadenda.」

「Well,now,MissMadenda,」hesaid,veryaffably,asCarriethought,「yougooverthere.」

Thenhecalledtoayoungwomanwhowasalreadyofthecompany:

「MissClark,youpairwithMissMadenda.」

Thisyoungladysteppedforward,sothatCarriesawwheretogo,andtherehearsalbegan.

CarriesoonfoundthatwhilethisdrillinghadsomeslightresemblancetotherehearsalsasconductedatAveryHall,theattitudeofthemanagerwasmuchmorepronounced.ShehadmarveledattheinsistenceandsuperiorairsofMr.Millice,buttheindividualconductingherehadthesameinsistence,coupledwithalmostbrutalroughness.Asthedrillingproceeded,heseemedtowaxexceedinglywrothovertrifles,andtoincreasehislungpowerinproportion.Itwasveryevidentthathehadagreatcontemptforanyassumptionofdignityorinnocenceonthepartoftheseyoungwomen.

「Clark,」hewouldcall—meaning,ofcourse,MissClark—」whydon』tyoucatchstepthere.」

「Byfours,right!Right,Isaid,right!Forheaven』ssake,getontoyourself!Right!」andinsayingthishewouldliftthelastsoundsintoavehementroar.「Maitland!Maitland!」hecalledonce.

Anervous,comely-dressedlittlegirlsteppedout.Carrietrembledforheroutofthefullnessofherownsympathiesandfear.

「Yes,sir,」saidMissMaitland.

「Isthereanythingthematterwithyourears.」

「No,sir.」

「Doyouknowwhat『columnleft』means.」

「Yes,sir.」

「Well,whatareyoustumblingaroundtherightfor.Wanttobreakuptheline.」

「Iwasjust」

「Nevermindwhatyouwerejust.Keepyourearsopen.」

Carriepitied,andtrembledforherturn.

Yetanothersufferedthepainofpersonalrebuke.

「Holdonaminute,」criedthemanager,throwinguphishands,asifindespair.Hisdemeanorwasfierce.

「Elvers,」heshouted,「whathaveyougotinyourmouth.」

「Nothing,」saidMissElvers,whilesomesmiledandstoodnervouslyby.

「Well,areyoutalking.」

「No,sir.」

「Well,keepyourmouthstillthen.Now,alltogetheragain.」

AtlastCarrie』sturncame.Itwasbecauseofherextremeanxietytodoallthatwasrequiredthatbroughtonthetrouble.

Sheheardsomeonecalled.

「Mason,」saidthevoice.「MissMason.」

Shelookedaroundtoseewhoitcouldbe.Agirlbehindshovedheralittle,butshedidnotunderstand.

「You,you!」saidthemanager.「Can』tyouhear.」

「Oh,」saidCarrie,collapsing,andblushingfiercely.

「Isn』tyournameMason.」askedthemanager.

「No,sir,」saidCarrie,「it』sMadenda.」

「Well,what』sthematterwithyourfeet.Can』tyoudance.」

「Yes,sir,」saidCarrie,whohadlongsincelearnedthisart.

「Whydon』tyoudoitthen.Don』tgoshufflingalongasifyouweredead.I』vegottohavepeoplewithlifeinthem.」

Carrie』scheekburnedwithacrimsonheat.Herlipstrembledalittle.

「Yes,sir,」shesaid.

Itwasthisconstanturging,coupledwithirascibilityandenergy,forthreelonghours.Carriecameawaywornenoughinbody,buttooexcitedinmindtonoticeit.Shemeanttogohomeandpracticeherevolutionsasprescribed.Shewouldnoterrinanyway,ifshecouldhelpit.

WhenshereachedtheflatHurstwoodwasnotthere.Forawonderhewasoutlookingforwork,asshesupposed.Shetookonlyamouthfultoeatandthenpracticedon,sustainedbyvisionsoffreedomfromfinancialdistress—」Thesoundofgloryringinginherears.」

WhenHurstwoodreturnedhewasnotsoelatedaswhenhewentaway,andnowshewasobligedtodroppracticeandgetdinner.Herewasanearlyirritation.Shewouldhaveherworkandthis.Wasshegoingtoactandkeephouse.

「I』llnotdoit,」shesaid,「afterIgetstarted.Hecantakehismealsout.」

Eachdaythereafterbroughtitscares.Shefounditwasnotsuchawonderfulthingtobeinthechorus,andshealsolearnedthathersalarywouldbetwelvedollarsaweek.Afterafewdaysshehadherfirstsightofthosehighandmighties—theleadingladiesandgentlemen.Shesawthattheywereprivilegedanddeferredto.Shewasnothing—absolutelynothingatall.

AthomewasHurstwood,dailygivinghercauseforthought.Heseemedtogetnothingtodo,andyethemadeboldtoinquirehowshewasgettingalong.Theregularitywithwhichhedidthissmackedofsomeonewhowaswaitingtoliveuponherlabor.Nowthatshehadavisiblemeansofsupport,thisirritatedher.Heseemedtobedependinguponherlittletwelvedollars.

「Howareyougettingalong.」hewouldblandly

inquire.

「Oh,allright,」shewouldreply.

「Finditeasy.」

「ItwillbeallrightwhenIgetusedtoit.」

Hispaperwouldthenengrosshisthoughts.

「Igotsomelard,」hewouldadd,asanafterthought.「Ithoughtmaybeyoumightwanttomakesomebiscuit.」

Thecalmsuggestionofthemanastonishedheralittle,especiallyinthelightofrecentdevelopments.Herdawningindependencegavehermorecouragetoobserve,andshefeltasifshewantedtosaythings.StillshecouldnottalktohimasshehadtoDrouet.Therewassomethingintheman』smannerofwhichshehadalwaysstoodinawe.Heseemedtohavesomeinvisiblestrengthinreserve.

Oneday,afterherfirstweek』srehearsal,whatsheexpectedcameopenlytothesurface.

「We』llhavetoberathersaving,」hesaid,layingdownsomemeathehadpurchased.「Youwon』tgetanymoneyforaweekorsoyet.」

「No,」saidCarrie,whowasstirringapanatthestove.

「I』veonlygottherentandthirteendollarsmore,」headded.

「That』sit,」shesaidtoherself.「I』mtousemymoneynow.」

Instantlysherememberedthatshehadhopedtobuyafewthingsforherself.Sheneededclothes.Herhatwasnotnice.

「Whatwilltwelvedollarsdotowardskeepingupthisflat.」shethought.「Ican』tdoit.Whydoesn』thegetsomethingtodo.」

Theimportantnightofthefirstrealperformancecame.ShedidnotsuggesttoHurstwoodthathecomeandsee.Hedidnotthinkofgoing.Itwouldonlybemoneywasted.Shehadsuchasmallpart.

Theadvertisementswerealreadyinthepapers;thepostersuponthebill-boards.Theleadingladyandmanymemberswerecited.Carriewasnothing.

AsinChicago,shewasseizedwithstagefrightastheveryfirstentranceoftheballetapproached,butlatersherecovered.Theapparentandpainfulinsignificanceoftheparttookfearawayfromher.Shefeltthatshewassoobscureitdidnotmatter.Fortunately,shedidnothavetoweartights.Agroupoftwelvewereassignedprettygolden-huedskirtswhichcameonlytoalineaboutaninchabovetheknee.Carriehappenedtobeoneofthetwelve.

Instandingaboutthestage,marching,andoccasionallyliftinguphervoiceinthegeneralchorus,shehadachancetoobservetheaudienceandtoseetheinaugurationofagreathit.Therewasplentyofapplause,butshecouldnothelpnotinghowpoorlysomeofthewomenofallegedabilitydid.

「Icoulddobetterthanthat,」Carrieventuredtoherself,inseveralinstances.Todoherjustice,shewasright.Afteritwasovershedressedquickly,andasthemanagerhadscoldedsomeothersandpassedher,sheimaginedshemusthaveprovedsatisfactory.Shewantedtogetoutquickly,becausesheknewbutfew,andthestarsweregossiping.Outsidewerecarriagesandsomecorrectyouthsinattractiveclothing,waiting.Carriesawthatshewasscannedclosely.Theflutterofaneyelashwouldhavebroughtheracompanion.Thatshedidnotgive.

Oneexperiencedyouthvolunteered,anyhow.

「Notgoinghomealone,areyou.」hesaid.

CarriemerelyhastenedherstepsandtooktheSixthAvenuecar.Herheadwassofullofthewonderofitthatshehadtimefornothingelse.

「Didyouhearanymorefromthebrewery.」sheaskedattheendoftheweek,hopingbythequestiontostirhimontoaction.

「No,」heanswered,「they』renotquitereadyyet.Ithinksomethingwillcomeofthat,though.」

Shesaidnothingmorethen,objectingtogivingupherownmoney,andyetfeelingthatsuchwouldhavetobethecase.Hurstwoodfeltthecrisis,andartfullydecidedtoappealtoCarrie.Hehadlongsincerealizedhowgood-naturedshewas,howmuchshewouldstand.Therewassomelittleshameinhimatthethoughtofdoingso,buthejustifiedhimselfwiththethoughtthathereallywouldgetsomething.Rentdaygavehimhisopportunity.

「Well,」hesaid,ashecounteditout,「that』saboutthelastofmymoney.I』llhavetogetsomethingprettysoon.」

Carrielookedathimaskance,half-suspiciousofanappeal.

「IfIcouldonlyholdoutalittlelongerIthinkIcouldgetsomething.DrakeissuretoopenahotelhereinSeptember.」

「Ishe.」saidCarrie,thinkingoftheshortmonththatstillremaineduntilthattime.

「Wouldyoumindhelpingmeoutuntilthen.」hesaidappealingly.「IthinkI』llbeallrightafterthattime.」

「No,」saidCarrie,feelingsadlyhandicappedbyfate.

「Wecangetalongifweeconomies.I』llpayyoubackallright.」

「Oh,I』llhelpyou,」saidCarrie,feelingquitehardheartedatthusforcinghimtohumblyappeal,andyetherdesireforthebenefitofherearningswrungafaintprotestfromher.

「Whydon』tyoutakeanything,George,temporarily.」shesaid.「Whatdifferencedoesitmake.Maybe,afterawhile,you』llgetsomethingbetter.」

「Iwilltakeanything,」hesaid,relieved,andwincingunderreproof.「I』djustasleavedigonthestreets.Nobodyknowsmehere.」

「Oh,youneedn』tdothat,」saidCarrie,hurtbythepityofit.「Buttheremustbeotherthings.」

「I』llgetsomething!」hesaid,assumingdetermination.

Thenhewentbacktohispaper.