245.英文正文（245）

「ibetrayedyou，」shesaidbaldly。***

「ibetrayedyou，」hesaid。

shegavehimanotherquicklookofdislike。

「sometimes，」shesaid，「theythreatenyouwithsomethingsomethingyoucan』tstandupto，can』teventhinkabout。andthenyousay，『don』tdoittome，doittosomebodyelse，doittoso-and-so。』andperhapsyoumightpretend，afterwards，thatitwasonlyatrickandthatyoujustsaidittomakethemstopanddidn』treallymeanit。butthatisn』ttrue。atthetimewhenithappensyoudomeanit。youthinkthere』snootherwayofsavingyourself，andyou』requitereadytosaveyourselfthatway。youwantittohappentotheotherperson。youdon』tgiveadamnwhattheysuffer。allyoucareaboutisyourself。」

「allyoucareaboutisyourself，」heechoed。

「andafterthat，youdon』tfeelthesametowardstheotherpersonanylonger。」

「no，」hesaid，「youdon』tfeelthesame。」

theredidnotseemtobeanythingmoretosay。thewindplasteredtheirthinoverallsagainsttheirbodies。almostatonceitbecameembarrassingtositthereinsilence：besides，itwastoocoldtokeepstill。shesaidsomethingaboutcatchinghertubeandstooduptogo。

「wemustmeetagain，」hesaid。

「yes，」shesaid，「wemustmeetagain。」

hefollowedirresolutelyforalittledistance，halfapacebehindher。theydidnotspeakagain。shedidnotactuallytrytoshakehimoff，butwalkedatjustsuchaspeedastopreventhiskeepingabreastofher。hehadmadeuphismindthathewouldaccompanyherasfarasthetubestation，butsuddenlythisprocessoftrailingalonginthecoldseemedpointlessandunbearable。hewasoverwhelmedbyadesirenotsomuchtogetawayfromjuliaastogetbacktothechestnuttreecafé，whichhadneverseemedsoattractiveasatthismoment。hehadanostalgicvisionofhiscornertable，withthenewspaperandthechessboardandtheever-flowinggin。aboveall，itwouldbewarminthere。thenextmoment，notaltogetherbyaccident，heallowedhimselftobecomeseparatedfromherbyasmallknotofpeople。hemadeahalfheartedattempttocatchup，thensloweddown，turned，andmadeoffintheoppositedirection。whenhehadgonefiftymetreshelookedback。thestreetwasnotcrowded，butalreadyhecouldnotdistinguishher。anyoneofadozenhurryingfiguresmighthavebeenhers。perhapsherthickened，stiffenedbodywasnolongerrecognizablefrombehind。