Chapter 46

STIRRINGTROUBLEDWATERS

PlayinginNewYorkoneeveningonthisherreturn,Carriewasputtingthefinishingtouchestohertoiletbeforeleavingforthenight,whenacommotionnearthestagedoorcaughtherear.Itincludedafamiliarvoice.

「Nevermind,now.IwanttoseeMissMadenda.」

「You』llhavetosendinyourcard.」

「Oh,comeoff!Here.」

Ahalf-dollarwaspassedover,andnowaknockcameatherdressing-roomdoor.Carrieopenedit.

「Well,well!」saidDrouet.「Idoswear!Why,howareyou.IknewthatwasyouthemomentIsawyou.」

Carriefellbackapace,expectingamostembarrassingconversation.

「Aren』tyougoingtoshakehandswithme.Well,you』readandy!That』sallright,shakehands.」

Carrieputoutherhand,smiling,iffornothingmorethantheman』sexuberantgood-nature.Thougholder,hewasbutslightlychanged.Thesamefineclothes,thesamestockybody,thesamerosycountenance.

「Thatfellowatthedoortheredidn』twanttoletmein,untilIpaidhim.Iknewitwasyou,allright.Say,you』vegotagreatshow.Youdoyourpartfine.Iknewyouwould.IjusthappenedtobepassingtonightandthoughtI』ddropinforafewminutes.Isawyournameontheprogram,butIdidn』trememberituntilyoucameonthestage.Thenitstruckmeallatonce.Say,youcouldhaveknockedmedownwithafeather.

That』sthesamenameyouusedoutthereinChicago,isn』tit.」

「Yes,」answeredCarrie,mildly,overwhelmedbytheman』sassurance.

「Iknewitwas,themomentIsawyou.Well,howhaveyoubeen,anyhow.」

「Oh,verywell,」saidCarrie,lingeringinherdressing-room.Shewasratherdazedbytheassault.「Howhaveyoubeen.」

「Me.Oh,fine.I』mherenow.」

「Isthatso.」saidCarrie.

「Yes.I』vebeenhereforsixmonths.I』vegotchargeofabranchhere.」

「Hownice!」

「Well,whendidyougoonthestage,anyhow.」inquiredDrouet.

「Aboutthreeyearsago,」saidCarrie.

「Youdon』tsayso!Well,sir,thisisthefirstI』veheardofit.Iknewyouwould,though.Ialwayssaidyoucouldact—didn』tI.」

Carriesmiled.

「Yes,youdid,」shesaid.

「Well,youdolookgreat,」hesaid.「Ineversawanybodyimproveso.You』retaller,aren』tyou.」

「Me.Oh,alittle,maybe.」

Hegazedatherdress,thenatherhair,whereabecominghatwassetjauntily,thenintohereyes,whichshetookalloccasiontoavert.Evidentlyheexpectedtorestoretheiroldfriendshipatonceandwithoutmodification.

「Well,」hesaid,seeinghergatherupherpurse,handkerchief,andthelike,preparatorytodeparting,「Iwantyoutocomeouttodinnerwithme;won』tyou.I』vegotafriendouthere.」

「Oh,Ican』t,」saidCarrie.「Notto-night.Ihaveanearlyengagementto-morrow.」

「Aw,lettheengagementgo.Comeon.Icangetridofhim.Iwanttohaveagoodtalkwithyou.」

「No,no,」saidCarrie;「Ican』t.Youmustn』taskmeanymore.Idon』tcareforalatedinner.」

「Well,comeonandhaveatalk,then,anyhow.」

「Notto-night,」shesaid,shakingherhead.「We』llhaveatalksomeothertime.」

Asaresultofthis,shenoticedashadeofthoughtpassoverhisface,asifhewerebeginningtorealizethatthingswerechanged.Good-naturedictatedsomethingbetterthanthisforonewhohadalwayslikedher.

「Youcomearoundtothehotelto-morrow,」shesaid,assortofpenanceforerror.「Youcantakedinnerwithme.」

「Allright,」saidDrouet,brightening.「Whereareyoustopping.」

「AttheWaldorf,」sheanswered,mentioningthefashionablehostelrythenbutnewlyerected.

「Whattime.」

「Well,comeatthree,」saidCarrie,pleasantly.

ThenextdayDrouetcalled,butitwaswithnoespecialdelightthatCarrierememberedherappointment.However,seeinghim,handsomeasever,afterhiskind,andmostgeniallydisposed,herdoubtsastowhetherthedinnerwouldbedisagreeableweresweptaway.Hetalkedasvolublyasever.

「Theyputonalotoflugshere,don』tthey.」washisfirstremark.

「Yes;theydo,」saidCarrie.

Genialegotistthathewas,hewentatonceintoadetailedaccountofhisowncareer.

「I』mgoingtohaveabusinessofmyownprettysoon,」heobservedinoneplace.「Icangetbackingfortwohundredthousanddollars.」

Carrielistenedmostgood-naturedly.

「Say,」hesaid,suddenly;「whereisHurstwoodnow.」

Carrieflushedalittle.

「He』shereinNewYork,Iguess,」shesaid.「Ihaven』tseenhimforsometime.」

Drouetmusedforamoment.Hehadnotbeensureuntilnowthattheex-managerwasnotaninfluentialfigureinthebackground.Heimaginednot;butthisassurancerelievedhim.ItmustbethatCarriehadgotridofhim—aswellsheought,hethought.「Amanalwaysmakesamistakewhenhedoesanythinglikethat,」heobserved.

「Likewhat.」saidCarrie,unwittingofwhatwascoming.

「Oh,youknow,」andDrouetwavedherintelligence,asitwere,withhishand.

「No,Idon』t,」sheanswered.「Whatdoyoumean.」

「WhythataffairinChicago—thetimeheleft.」

「Idon』tknowwhatyouaretalkingabout,」saidCarrie.CoulditbehewouldrefersorudelytoHurstwood』sflightwithher.

「Oho!」saidDrouet,incredulously.「Youknewhetooktenthousanddollarswithhimwhenheleft,didn』tyou.」

「What!」saidCarrie.「Youdon』tmeantosayhestolemoney,doyou.」

「Why,」saidDrouet,puzzledathertone,「youknewthat,didn』tyou.」

「Why,no,」saidCarrie.「OfcourseIdidn』t.」

「Well,that』sfunny,」saidDrouet.「Hedid,youknow.Itwasinallthepapers.」

「Howmuchdidyousayhetook.」saidCarrie.

「Tenthousanddollars.Iheardhesentmostofitbackafterwards,though.」

Carrielookedvacantlyattherichlycarpetedfloor.Anewlightwasshininguponalltheyearssinceherenforcedflight.Sherememberednowahundredthingsthatindicatedasmuch.Shealsoimaginedthathetookitonheraccount.Insteadofhatredspringinguptherewasakindofsorrowgenerated.Poorfellow!Whatathingtohavehadhangingoverhisheadallthetime.

AtdinnerDrouet,warmedupbyeatinganddrinking

andsoftenedinmood,fanciedhewaswinningCarrietoherold-timegood-naturedregardforhim.Hebegantoimagineitwouldnotbesodifficulttoenterintoherlifeagain,highasshewas.Ah,whataprize!hethought.Howbeautiful,howelegant,howfamous!InhertheatricalandWaldorfsetting,Carriewastohimthealldesirable.

「DoyourememberhownervousyouwerethatnightattheAvery.」heasked.

Carriesmiledtothinkofit.

「Ineversawanybodydobetterthanyoudidthen,Cad,」headdedruefully,asheleanedanelbowonthetable;「IthoughtyouandIweregoingtogetalongfinethosedays.」

「Youmustn』ttalkthatway,」saidCarrie,bringingintheleasttouchofcoldness.

「Won』tyouletmetellyou—」

「No,」sheanswered,rising.「Besides,it』stimeIwasgettingreadyforthetheatre.I』llhavetoleaveyou.Come,now.」

「Oh,stayaminute,」pleadedDrouet.「You』vegotplentyoftime.」

「No,」saidCarrie,gently.

ReluctantlyDrouetgaveupthebrighttableandfollowed.Hesawhertotheelevatorand,standingthere,said:

「WhendoIseeyouagain.」

「Oh,sometime,possibly,」saidCarrie.「I』llbehereallsummer.Good-night!」

Theelevatordoorwasopen.

「Good-night!」saidDrouet,assherustledin.

Thenhestrolledsadlydownthehall,allhisoldlongingrevived,becauseshewasnowsofaroff.Themerryfrou-frouoftheplacespokeallofher.Hethoughthimselfhardlydealtwith.Carrie,however,hadotherthoughts.

ThatnightitwasthatshepassedHurstwood,waitingattheCasino,withoutobservinghim.

Thenextnight,walkingtothetheatre,sheencounteredhimfacetoface.Hewaswaiting,moregauntthanever,determinedtoseeher,ifhehadtosendinword.Atfirstshedidnotrecognizetheshabby,baggyfigure.Hefrightenedher,edgingsoclose,aseeminglyhungrystranger.

「Carrie,」hehalfwhispered,「canIhaveafewwordswithyou.」Sheturnedandrecognizedhimontheinstant.Ifthereeverhadlurkedanyfeelinginherheartagainsthim,itdesertedhernow.Still,sherememberedwhatDrouetsaidabouthishavingstolenthemoney.

「Why,George,」shesaid;「what』sthematterwithyou.」

「I』vebeensick,」heanswered.「I』vejustgotoutofthehospital.ForGod』ssake,letmehavealittlemoney,willyou.」

「Ofcourse,」saidCarrie,herliptremblinginastrongefforttomaintainhercomposure.「Butwhat』sthematterwithyou,anyhow.」

Shewasopeningherpurse,andnowpulledoutallthebillsinit—afiveandtwotwos.

「I』vebeensick,Itoldyou,」hesaid,peevishly,almostresentingherexcessivepity.Itcamehardtohimtoreceiveitfromsuchasource.

「Here,」shesaid.「It』sallIhavewithme.」

「Allright,」heanswered,softly.「I』llgiveitbacktoyousomeday.」

Carrielookedathim,whilepedestriansstaredather.Shefeltthestrainofpublicity.SodidHurstwood.

「Whydon』tyoutellmewhat』sthematterwithyou.」sheasked,hardlyknowingwhattodo.「Whereareyouliving.」

「Oh,I』vegotaroomdownintheBowery,」heanswered.「There』snousetryingtotellyouhere.I』mallrightnow.」

Heseemedinawaytoresentherkindlyinquiries—somuchbetterhadfatedealtwithher.

「Bettergoonin,」hesaid.「I』mmuchobliged,butIwon』tbotheryouanymore.」

Shetriedtoanswer,butheturnedawayandshuffledofftowardtheeast.

Fordaysthisapparitionwasadragonhersoulbeforeitbegantowearpartiallyaway.Drouetcalledagain,butnowhewasnotevenseenbyher.Hisattentionsseemedoutofplace.

「I』mout,」washerreplytotheboy.

Sopeculiar,indeed,washerlonely,self-withdrawingtemper,thatshewasbecominganinterestingfigureinthepubliceye-shewassoquietandreserved.

NotlongafterthemanagementdecidedtotransfertheshowtoLondon.Asecondsummerseasondidnotseemtopromisewellhere.

「HowwouldyouliketotrysubduingLondon.」askedhermanager,oneafternoon.

「Itmightbejusttheotherway,」saidCarrie.

「Ithinkwe』llgoinJune,」heanswered.

Inthehurryofdeparture,Hurstwoodwasforgotten.BothheandDrouetwerelefttodiscoverthatshewasgone.Thelattercalledonce,andexclaimedatthenews.Thenhestoodinthelobby,chewingtheendsofhismoustache.Atlasthereachedaconclusion—theolddayshadgoneforgood.

「Sheisn』tsomuch,」hesaid;butinhisheartofheartshedidnotbelievethis.

Hurstwoodshiftedbycuriousmeansthroughalongsummerandfall.Asmalljobasjanitorofadancehallhelpedhimforamonth.Begging,sometimesgoinghungry,sometimessleepinginthepark,carriedhimovermoredays.Resortingtothosepeculiarcharities,severalofwhich,inthepressofhungrysearch,heaccidentallystumbledupon,didtherest.Towardthedeadofwinter,Carriecameback,appearingonBroadwayinanewplay;buthewasnotawareofit.Forweekshewanderedaboutthecity,begging,whilethefiresign,announcingherengagement,blazed

nightlyuponthecrowdedstreetofamusements.

Drouetsawit,butdidnotventurein.

AboutthistimeAmesreturnedtoNewYork.HehadmadealittlesuccessintheWest,andnowopenedalaboratoryinWoosterStreet.Ofcourse,heencounteredCarriethroughMrs.Vance;buttherewasnothingresponsivebetweenthem.HethoughtshewasstillunitedtoHurstwood,untilotherwiseinformed.Notknowingthefactsthen,hedidnotprofesstounderstand,andrefrainedfromcomment.

WithMrs.Vance,hesawthenewplay,andexpressedhimselfaccordingly.

「Sheoughtnottobeincomedy,」hesaid.「Ithinkshecoulddobetterthanthat.」

OneafternoontheymetattheVances』accidentally,andbeganaveryfriendlyconversation.Shecouldhardlytellwhytheone-timekeeninterestinhimwasnolongerwithher.Unquestionably,itwasbecauseatthattimehehadrepresentedsomethingwhichshedidnothave;butthisshedidnotunderstand.Successhadgivenherthemomentaryfeelingthatshewasnowblessedwithmuchofwhichhewouldapprove.Asamatteroffact,herlittlenewspaperfamewasnothingatalltohim.Hethoughtshecouldhavedonebetter,byfar.

「Youdidn』tgointocomedy-drama,afterall.」hesaid,rememberingherinterestinthatformofart.

「No,」sheanswered;「Ihaven』t,sofar.」

Helookedatherinsuchapeculiarwaythatsherealizedshehadfailed.Itmovedhertoadd:「Iwantto,though.」

「Ishouldthinkyouwould,」hesaid.「Youhavethesortofdispositionthatwoulddowellincomedy-drama.」

Itsurprisedherthatheshouldspeakofdisposition.Wasshe,then,soclearlyinhismind.

「Why.」sheasked.

「Well,」hesaid,「Ishouldjudgeyouwererather

sympatheticinyournature.」

Carriesmiledandcoloredslightly.Hewassoinnocentlyfrankwithherthatshedrewnearerinfriendship.Theoldcalloftheidealwassounding.

「Idon』tknow,」sheanswered,pleased,nevertheless,beyondallconcealment.

「Isawyourplay,」heremarked.「It』sverygood.」

「I』mgladyoulikedit.」

「Verygood,indeed,」hesaid,「foracomedy.」

Thisisallthatwassaidatthetime,owingtoaninterruption,butlatertheymetagain.Hewassittinginacornerafterdinner,staringatthefloor,whenCarriecameupwithanotheroftheguests.Hardworkhadgivenhisfacethelookofonewhoisweary.ItwasnotforCarrietoknowthethinginitwhichappealedtoher.

「Allalone.」shesaid.

「Iwaslisteningtothemusic.」

「I』llbebackinamoment,」saidhercompanion,whosawnothingintheinventor.

Nowhelookedupinherface,forshewasstandingamoment,whilehesat.

「Isn』tthatapatheticstrain.」heinquired,listening.

「Oh,very,」shereturned,alsocatchingit,nowthatherattentionwascalled.

「Sitdown,」headded,offeringherthechairbesidehim.

Theylistenedafewmomentsinsilence,touchedbythesamefeeling,onlyhersreachedherthroughtheheart.Musicstillcharmedherasintheolddays.

「Idon』tknowwhatitisaboutmusic,」shestartedtosay,movedbytheinexplicablelongingswhichsurgedwithinher;「butitalwaysmakesmefeelasifIwantedsomething—I—」

「Yes,」hereplied;「Iknowhowyoufeel.」

Suddenlyheturnedtoconsideringthepeculiarityofherdisposition,expressingherfeelingssofrankly.

「Yououghtnottobemelancholy,」hesaid.

Hethoughtawhile,andthenwentoffintoaseeminglyalienobservationwhich,however,accordedwiththeirfeelings.

「Theworldisfullofdesirablesituations,but,unfortunately,wecanoccupybutoneatatime.Itdoesn』tdousanygoodtowringourhandsoverthefar-offthings.」

Themusicceasedandhearose,takingastandingpositionbeforeher,asiftoresthimself.

「Whydon』tyougetintosomegood,strongcomedy-drama.」hesaid.Hewaslookingdirectlyathernow,studyingherface.Herlarge,sympatheticeyesandpain-touchedmouthappealedtohimasproofsofhisjudgment.

「PerhapsIshall,」shereturned.

「That』syourfield,」headded.

「Doyouthinkso.」

「Yes,」hesaid;「Ido.Idon』tsupposeyou』reawareofit,butthereissomethingaboutyoureyesandmouthwhichfitsyouforthatsortofwork.」

Carriethrilledtobetakensoseriously.Forthemoment,lonelinessdesertedher.Herewaspraisewhichwaskeenandanalytical.

「It』sinyoureyesandmouth,」hewentonabstractedly.「Irememberthinking,thefirsttimeIsawyou,thattherewassomethingpeculiaraboutyourmouth.Ithoughtyouwereabouttocry.」

「Howodd,」saidCarrie,warmwithdelight.Thiswaswhatherheartcraved.

「ThenInoticedthatthatwasyournaturallook,andto-nightIsawitagain.There』sashadowaboutyoureyes,too,whichgivesyourfacemuchthissamecharacter.It』sinthedepthofthem,Ithink.」

Carrielookedstraightintohisface,whollyaroused.

「Youprobablyarenotawareofit,」headded.

Shelookedaway,pleasedthatheshouldspeakthus,longingtobeequaltothisfeelingwrittenuponhercountenance.Itunlockedthedoortoanewdesire.She

hadcausetoponderoverthisuntiltheymetagain-severalweeksormore.Itshowedhershewasdriftingawayfromtheoldidealwhichhadfilledherinthedressing-roomsoftheAverystageandthereafter,foralongtime.Whyhadshelostit.

「Iknowwhyyoushouldbeasuccess,」hesaid,anothertime,「ifyouhadamoredramaticpart.I』vestudieditout—」

「Whatisit.」saidCarrie.

「Well,」hesaid,asonepleasedwithapuzzle,「theexpressioninyourfaceisonethatcomesoutindifferentthings.Yougetthesamethinginapatheticsong,oranypicturewhichmovesyoudeeply.It』sathingtheworldlikestosee,becauseit』sanaturalexpressionofitslonging.」

Carriegazedwithoutexactlygettingtheimportofwhathemeant.

「Theworldisalwaysstrugglingtoexpressitself,」hewenton「Mostpeoplearenotcapableofvoicingtheirfeelings.Theydependuponothers.Thatiswhatgeniusisfor.Onemanexpressestheirdesiresfortheminmusic;anotheroneinpoetry;anotheroneinaplay.Sometimesnaturedoesitinaface-itmakesthefacerepresentativeofalldesire.That』swhathashappenedinyourcase.」

Helookedatherwithsomuchoftheimportofthethinginhiseyesthatshecaughtit.Atleast,shegottheideathatherlookwassomethingwhichrepresentedtheworld』slonging.Shetookittoheartasacreditablething,untilheadded:

「Thatputsaburdenofdutyonyou.Itsohappensthatyouhavethisthing.Itisnocredittoyou—thatis,Imean,youmightnothavehadit.Youpaidnothingtogetit.Butnowthatyouhaveit,youmustdosomethingwithit.」

「What.」askedCarrie.

「Ishouldsay,turntothedramaticfield.Youhavesomuchsympathyandsuchamelodiousvoice.Makethemvaluabletoothers.Itwillmakeyourpowersendure.」

Carriedidnotunderstandthislast.Alltherestshowedherthathercomedysuccesswaslittleornothing.

「Whatdoyoumean.」sheasked.

「Why,justthis.Youhavethisqualityinyoureyesandmouthandinyournature.Youcanloseit,youknow.Ifyouturnawayfromitandlivetosatisfyyourselfalone,itwillgofastenough.Thelookwillleaveyoureyes.Yourmouthwillchange.Yourpowertoactwilldisappear.Youmaythinktheywon』t,buttheywill.Naturetakescareofthat.」

Hewassointerestedinforwardingallgoodcausesthathesometimesbecameenthusiastic,givingventtothesepreachments.SomethinginCarrieappealedtohim.Hewantedtostirherup.

「Iknow,」shesaid,absently,feelingslightlyguiltyofneglect.

「IfIwereyou,」hesaid,「I』dchange.」

Theeffectofthiswaslikeroilinghelplesswaters.Carrietroubledoveritinherrocking-chairfordays.

「Idon』tbelieveI』llstayincomedysoverymuchlonger,」sheeventuallyremarkedtoLola.

「Oh,whynot.」saidthelatter.

「Ithink,」shesaid,「Icandobetterinaseriousplay.」

「Whatputthatideainyourhead.」

「Oh,nothing,」sheanswered;「I』vealwaysthoughtso.」

Still,shedidnothing—grieving.Itwasalongwaytothisbetterthing—orseemedso—andcomfortwasabouther;hencetheinactivityandlonging.